by Justine Kim, ‘21

When I parted with Chorus after the Pacific-Northwest tour, little did I know that I wouldn't see them for another year.

©Princess Bari, 01.087.2018, book.interpark.com — *©Princess Bari, 01.087.2018,* *book.interpark.com*

I'm Justine, and I am a rising senior from Sydney, Australia. In Spring 2020, I planned to study abroad at Yonsei University, Korea. But COVID-19 broke out, and all my plans fell apart.

I returned home to Sydney and snagged a last-minute internship at a solar company. To make up for my 'lost semester,' I enrolled in four online summer classes in Communications. I filled the void of silence by learning the guitar, stimulated the joy of learning a new skill by teaching myself how to edit videos. When the loneliness became unbearable, I decided to become a Pilates Instructor.

I realized I was making up for the parts of my life that the Chorus had fulfilled. I missed the beautiful sounds of Sage Chapel, the giddiness of mastering a challenging musical phrase, and the feeling of 'wholeness' as I sang with the people I loved. After my 6 months hiatus, I couldn't wait to go back.

Recently, Australia announced that it would close its borders. But Cornell announced that it would re-open for the Fall semester. I was torn; I wanted to go, but my parents had emailed my landlords to cancel my lease. I guess they were concerned about New York's COVID-19 cases, America's widespread violence, and just Trump in general. As an international student, I didn't know when I would be forced to return home.

But where was 'home?' While I grew up in Sydney, the Chorus had been my home for two years. During the most challenging years of my life, they were with me. The Chorus shared my happiest times and made me feel as if I truly belonged at Cornell. They are why I kept going back to Ithaca - even if it meant flying for 30 hours.

Suddenly, I began recalling all the details that I thought I forgot. Walking through the dimly lit aisles in Sage Chapel as my friends waved my name card, the ebb and flow of our breaths, the surreal overtones that electrify the room at the end of a piece...I miss it all.

I realized what a privilege it was to sing with the Chorus. I'm so lucky that I was part of a community connected and empowered by music. It's been six months since I actually "sang." My lungs feel a little crusty, and my vocal cords have shrunken to half its size. But my love for singing and the Chorus has grown two folds.

I'm not even an alumnus yet, but I think I know how they feel. Often, we don't know how important something was until it's gone. I hope that next year, the COVID-19 vaccine will be available so that I could go back and experience it all again.

I'm graduating in Spring 2021 - during the Chorus centennial! I can only imagine how spectacular it's going to be. If I can go back, I know that I will embrace every moment that I have with the Chorus.

Because this time, it will truly be my last.